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A Day In The Life of A Chihuahua – The Boyfriend’s Perspective

A Day In The Life of A Chihuahua – The Boyfriend’s Perspective

Morning

There’s that little runt of a dog again, sleeping on the bed.  No matter how many times I push it off it keeps coming back.  It’s smart enough to wait until I’m asleep and then it makes its move.  I open one eye and see it licking my girlfriend’s face.  I tell her again how disgusting that is and try unsuccessfully to point out the nasty hygiene habits of dogs, but she doesn’t listen.  She never listens when it comes to the dog.

Well, seeing as how we’re both awake …. I try to push the rat out of the way but it growls at me.  It has a serious issue with manners and doesn’t seem to realize that people are the boss.  I wait for my girlfriend to put it on the floor but she doesn’t.  She actually gets out of bed to feed the thing breakfast.  I’m hoping she might come back to bed but I can hear her chattering away in the kitchen about what jacket the dog should wear on their walk.  A jacket!  Real dogs don’t have to wear jackets.  This dog has a closet full of Chihuahua clothes.  The money my girlfriend has spent is ridiculous.

Afternoon

There’s a good game on television today and I thought about going to by buddy’s house to watch but I know my girlfriend won’t like that.  She thinks we should spend time together on the weekends because we both work so hard during the week.  The game would have been more fun with the guys but I do what she wants.

Actually it’s kind of fun sitting together watching the game and explaining the finer points.  Then the runt reappears.  It’s been blissfully absent for a few hours but now it’s back.  Of course, my girlfriend gets down on the floor to play with the thing.  It keeps growling while it’s playing.  Between the growling and my girlfriend laughing I can’t even hear the game.  I don’t know what she’s laughing about anyway.  It’s not funny that her little dog is a vicious beast.

The other day I tried to play with it and it actually bit me.  Of course, it’s such a little rat that it didn’t hurt but the intent was there.  Just because it’s a Chihuahua and not a German Shepherd does not mean that it shouldn’t be trained how to behave properly.  My girlfriend thinks the dog is perfect and won’t listen to me.  I’ve even got the contact information for a professional trainer but she won’t call him.

Evening

Stupid mutt!  It ate my shoe.  It ate my new expensive Italian shoe.  Okay, I admit that I should have put them in the closet but who knew the dog would use it as a chew toy?  They are completely ruined.  My girlfriend said she would polish them after dinner and they will look as good as new.  No they won’t – you can’t polish out tooth holes!

If looks could kill that little runt would be incinerated by now.  My girlfriend keeps telling me to relax and that the dog didn’t mean it.  Yes it did!  How come every time something gets destroyed by this dog it is always something of mine?  The little rat is out to get me.

Later, on the couch, it jumps up right when I’m trying to get some cuddle time with my girl.  She lets the dog sit on her lap and settle down while we watch television.  I swear it gives me a malevolent grin when it looks at me.

I’m feeling a little calmer by the time we go to bed.  My girlfriend and I had a little talk about the dog and I think she might be coming around to my way of thinking.  I’m sure it will keep her awake trying to find ways to fix that dog.  As I roll over I know that I have nothing to worry about – if she had to choose between us she would pick me over the dog.  No doubts.


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